Thursday, December 16, 2010

Not Enough....

Ever felt like you were not enough? Like you were the biggest disappointment to your family, like you didn't try hard enough? Ever wonder how you could be enough?

I know this is a little out of character for me, but I am posting this in lieu of this weekend. I am supposed to make a quick trip to California to see my folks (not to mention the fact that my husband and I are scrimping and saving and I blew a couple Benny's on a ticket!) and the weather forecast doesn't look good. When I explain to my family that I may not be able to make the trip due to delays (literally the trip is sooooo short that if I am delayed at all I will be arriving on one plane to depart on another going home). It's not like I can control the weather!!!

To be frank, I feel as though I am stretching myself to the max for my parents and sister, and there only response is, "That's all you are coming for?"....sheesh lo weesh!! Never mind the fact that I have a job, a husband, a home to run, and I am hosting Christmas!!! Yep, that's right....I have to get home to run to the market to make a feast for Christmas.

To tie this up....I'm done. I'm tired of not being enough. I'm tired of being the family disappointment (supposed doctor turned freelance writer doesn't really scream pride in my family)....because at the end of the day, I AM ENOUGH!!!!

I have the love of a wonderful man who loves me for me, and a goofy child/dog who reminds me to laugh and enjoy things like fresh cut grass and warm sunshine. And I have the love and acceptance of the Man above, my gracious Savior. They see me and that is more than enough. I am enough. So are you, just as you are.



Kelli said...

Girl, you are DEFINITELY enough! Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. Believe me when I tell you I've been there, done that, and even bought the t-shirt. ;) It's no fun being the one who gets blamed for everything, doesn't do anything well enough (according to others), just doesn't quite measure up. This is some of what I've been working to overcome the past few months. It's been a bumpy ride but I'm getting there and you can, too!

After all, I think you're AWESOME.

Really. :)

Knitty said...

NEVER give anyone the power to measure your worth! We all know if we're truly slacking and how we deal with those times is for each of us to deal with (like knowing that was a poorly worded sentence, but in the interest of time, I am letting it stand and will ponder better grammar later).

When others love us unselfishly, they want the best for us as we do them. Expecting so much of you now speaks volumes about them, and to mix metaphors, I suggest you turn their volume off.

Kelli said...

Jaclyn, you'll learn that it's always good to listen to Knitty. :) She's a sharp one, I tell ya, and I count myself fortunate to call her my friend. :)

Jaclyn Hicks said...

I count myself fortunate to call both of you friend. Merry Christmas my dear friends, and thank you for accepting me just as I am....perfectly flawed and finally okay with it!