Friday, August 31, 2012

Standing Outside the Spotlight

I was offered a job this week.

A dream job.

A forty-hour work week job.

A retirement fund job.

A job I would have jumped to take a year ago.

Before I became a Mom.

I struggled over these last few days, just to make it into town for a meeting, and then this morning, with spit-up on my t-shirt, slobber on my fingers, and a hungry baby in my arms, I realized that I have a job. The best job in the world.

So I politely called back the place I would have attended Monday through Friday, and turned down the position. It was the best decision, and the gentleman I had been talking to, told me that if I found myself with some spare time when the little one gets older, to give him a ring, and he would give me some part-time work.

The thing is, this job would have been one of those titles that parent's brag about in their yearly Christmas letters. It was the job you tell your kiddos about. It was a job that placed you in the spotlight.

Sometimes, we are not meant to be in the spotlight. I believe there are some of us who are destined for quiet work, for work that goes unseen by everyone else, except Him. In order for others to shine, to have their time in the spotlight, it takes the support of others who stand outside the limelight to help them reach their potential.

I will continue to write from home, and I will continue to look for a job that I can do from home, while looking after my little one and still taking care of my family. God answered my prayer when He showed me the importance of my daily chores. Whether the day includes laundry, cleaning, cooking, or taking time to love on my family and friends, the need is filled when I am home. My heart is here, and as much as I may enjoy the thought of a wee little fame, my biggest fans are here at home.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Mom Strength

                       (From when I was a wee one, with my older sister and baby brother...)

On those nights when the day's activities are done, everyone is tucked away in their beds, and you are left with a mountain of work to do, that's when you find the Mom Strength. The ability to push aside you own wanton desire to close your heavy eyelids, and press on to prep the morning's breakfast.

You go the extra mile to wash a favorite blankie or make your husband's sack lunch. You flip through the cookbooks and defrost the chuck roast. You load and run the dishwasher.

You prep the coffeemaker, so in the morning, it's ready with just the flip of a switch. You place the stamps on the bills, resting them by the side table, closest to the door.

You yawn and stretch, praying that time would stop whilst you sleep.

You fold blankets that were once the walls to the fort. You let the dog out on more time, and pick up a random shoe, looking for its pair. You put the toy trucks back in the toy box.

You let the dog back in, and together, the two of you walk quietly down the hall.

You know the morning will come too soon. You know the alarm will sound in a few hours. You could have waited to do this tomorrow, but then you would have missed time with them.

And that my friends, is mom strength.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

When a cold slows you down....

You know the famous children's book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie", well last week the world gave the little one a cold and that in turn gave me ample time to think and reflect. Time to pray. Time to think.

I realized a few things about myself that I was too afraid to acknowledge before. Lo and behold, I have found myself seeking out God and His promises. I feel as though I fell into the 'safe zone' with God, not willing to jump off the cliff. Sure, I dabbled over the edge, even let my toes curl around the lip of the cliff and looked to the great void below. But I never jumped. I have held onto my own capabilities, tricking myself into believing that I was passionately living for God. More than anything, I want to throw myself from the cliff, believing that God alone will catch me. He will keep me from falling, but in order to fly, to soar above, I have to let go.

There are big things on the horizon, and whilst, I would welcome the change of events, it is up to Him. Like my husband told me, when you let go, when you truly give in, the sun feels different. The air is lighter. The world's colors are brighter.

 And you know what, he was right.

Sometimes, the daily go, go, go can keep you from realizing the dreams before you. The hours pass, and the days go by in a blur. Years pass and we realize the life we wanted is not the one we have.

I want to write another book.

I want to do something to change the world.

I want to love my family more with each passing day.

I want to support my husband in all his endeavors.

I want to leave a legacy of love, faith, and joy.

And it's all in the letting go.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Noted in the Baby Book

Well folks, it looks as though we can say the little man has had his first cold. My poor baby came down with something about three days ago, and today we took him to the doctor's to make sure his cough didn't settle in his lungs. I am happy to report that the doctor gave us the all-clear and said to keep doing what we have already been doing.

I've got to say, I am so thankful for our doctor. He is tall-bulky rancher with a heart of gold. He is kind and gentle, and the little guy just loves him. So really, going to the doctor is more like going to visit the grandpa in town.

There have been a few sleepless nights, but just knowing that the little guy is on the mend makes it all worth it. If you would pray for him, I would appreciate it. My husband and I are trying to stay healthy, but we both think we might have it too :) Lovely.

I'm so glad he is on his way to feeling better....

Friday, August 3, 2012

In This Moment

I have always been a girl who thrived off of to-do lists, checking off each task as I finished them up. I like lists. I understand lists. Lists give my day parameters, adding structure to the chaos.

Today, I threw out the list.

And it was wonderful.

The baby fell asleep in my arms at noon, and rather than set him down, I snuggled him close and fell asleep alongside him. He will only be little for so long. There will come a day when he no longer wants me to hold him close. When he is grown, it won't matter if the laundry was done, or if the house was clean, or if dinner was made by 6. What will matter is the time spent together, knowing that each moment is just as it should be, and that savoring those moments is what makes everyday moments forever memories.

So there we stayed, snuggling close and letting the day be what it may.

Sometimes you have to throw out the book, forget the to-do list, and just live in the moment.

And with that smile, my world is complete.