I try to be lighthearted and carefree most of the time. I wish I could learn to roll with the punches, to take life as it comes. For so long I enjoyed spending time by myself and going places all on my lonesome....until this past year.
My anxiety sky-rocketed this morning (a daily battle for me now) all because my husband had his first day of work in our new state of Colorado. Once he mentioned that he was leaving to go to work, my heart began to race and I lost my control.....oh how I wish I was stronger.
This past year has been one of the most difficult to endure. I was assaulted and mugged, then nine months later my husband and I lost our baby, and five months later we moved 1100 miles.....sheesh lo weesh. I see pictures of how I used to be, before this insane year, and I wonder if I will ever feel the same way again.
I wish will all my might that I could be rid of my uneasiness, but I remain hopeful as God's promise is to see me through the storm. Normally, I wouldn't burden anyone with my woes, its just that I have found writing helpful in clearing my head and helping me breathe.
God's blessings to each of you, and may you find strength in Him!
4 comments:
Jaclyn, I had no idea what a difficult few months you've had. :( I am so very sorry for the pain you've endured. I'm not sure I even know what to say to you, other than you will be in my thoughts and prayers that the days ahead become easier and more relaxed for you, and that you find the peace you once knew. Keep writing and pouring out your thoughts and feelings on paper/screen. It has saved my sanity on many occasions. Hugs to you and God bless!
Thank you Kelli! I especially appreciate the prayers! Some days are more difficult than others, but I know that this season of my life will pass. I just need to remember to be patient and faithful...at that is easier done than said.
Jaclyn nice to meet you. I wish I could say you will move on easily but going through traumatic events is so hard to get over. It is like you exist in a fog for a period of time. Life goes on around you and you are like just existing.
I think it is good you are posting about this. It is so easy for us to know the right things to say and also as Christians we know God has a bigger plan for us but it still is so hard! I think you will like Colorado. I live in Texas and we go there skiing and it is wonderful. unless you live in the flat part....uggh!! well nice to meet you!
Amy: Thank you for your uplifting words! And it is also nice to meet you! Writing is my outlet, my sanity, my way of clearing my head. That's why I love writing for children; I love knowing that I could contribute to a little ones sense of peace and contentment. I do love Colorado already, my doggie just has me freezing since we take a walk at six in the morning! I look forward to keeping in touch!
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