Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what the day may bring Proverbs 27:1
With the new work hours, there seems to be a blur of hours passing me by. My day is dictated by my job specifications, but that doesn't mean that the day is wasted. There are the hours I spend with my son before and after the days work is done, those deliciously sweet hours we spend laughing and playing on the floor--it is in those hours that I find my joy. In those moments, when he looks at me and smiles, I can hear his heart tell my heart, it's gonna be ok and he loves me regardless of the time we have.
"Feed your faith, and your fears will starve to death"
I'm scared to think that I will miss something. I'm scared to think that this precious time is being whittled away at work, and that one day, my son will resent me for being gone. I'm scared of the unknown. But through it all, God will sustain me. He gives me strength and resolve to believe in His promises and to hold onto His grasp.
Just the other day, I was talking to my husband about this job and how much I wish my writing career was successful. I wish my writing could provide food for the table and the roof overhead. He asked me, "By whose standards are you measuring your success? Yours? The world's?" . With the new job, a lot has come to the forefront of my mind, especially when dealing with my profession and what I hope to accomplish in life.
There is a sense that something big is happening. God is working through this household, and we are waiting His promise and provision. It is exciting to feel God working through our lives, knowing that we are on the cusp of something big, something wonderful, something more than we could ever fathom.
And then I remember, I didn't ever dream my life would be the way it is. I never thought a man like my husband would fall for a woman like me. I never thought I would be the mother to one of the sweetest little boys. I never thought I would be living in a small town, surrounded by kind people and vast spans of land. I never thought my heart could hold this much love.
And yet, everything I never thought could happen, did.
There is a deep-rooted contentedness that stems from living with a grateful heart. I still tear up when I see full cupboards in our kitchen....they weren't always that way. My heart is overwhelmed by the goodness in the world, despite what makes the news headlines. Life is meant to be lived, not feared. People were meant to be loved, not hated. Peace is there, even in the darkness.
Yes, you had to know he would be a cowboy. Cutest cowboy 'round these parts (well, along with his Daddy!)