Tuesday, October 23, 2012

When the Days Change

This week marked the beginning of a new path in our household. I started my official workweek yesterday, and with two days under my belt, I am trying to see the positive and the blessings ahead. I would be lying if I said it was all daisies and roses because here, in reality, it's hard to release the control I had over my days before, the freedom to get what I need to do done, and the ability to snuggle the little guy whenever I pleased.

Now, my hours are dictated by the time clock, and for the hours prior and following, I hold onto to every single second. Those grins and sticky fingers, those belly laughs and graham cracker smell, I soak it all in. I know I'm just down the hall, tucked away in my little corner of the house, but when I hear those laughs echoing through the walls, it takes everything I have not to join in.

And then I quietly pray, asking God to quiet my heart and help me find contentment. I ask Him to give me a grateful heart. It's difficult to do the very thing you know you need to do, but don't want to and fight the urge to. There are those who would be grateful to have a job, this I know. My husband tells me all day how proud of me he is and how thankful he is to be given the opportunity to work on school and be with our son.

So, for now, for this season, I work. The days are full, since with the close of one shift, another begins. My timecard for motherhood goes well into overtime, but it is the job that my heart finds peace and pure joy in. The days my be different, but my heart is unchanged.


Mrs.Rabe said...

Thankful that you are still close by...

I do understand your longing heart. We bought a store this year and it takes a lot of time, and my days are fractured now, though I am in the store only one day a week - I have girls to drive to work etc...but I cherish my time with my younger kids too, thankful to still be able to home educate them and be a family.

I have a dear friend with 4 children and the husband/daddy is in his first year of residency at Johns Hopkins...so hard with his crazy schedule, but God is faithful.


Leigh said...

I think this is the most difficult thing a mother has to do. Praying for the grace you need.