This weekend was one of those weekends where every time the phone rings you cringe a little, fearing what could be awaiting you on the other line.
Family members hospitalized.
Friends talking about legal separations.
Loved ones on deployment overseas.
In the back of my mind, I kept wondering what would it be like to be in their shoes. What would I do if my husband left me? What would I do if he was the soldier overseas? What would we do if one of us was hospitalized?
I guess you could say I "what if'd" myself til I couldn't think straight anymore. In those moments when my head gets all twirly and there are no longer cohesive thoughts from one end to the other, my intention is to bring myself back to center and to realize the gifts in my own life. To focus on the now, not the future.
The future can be a scary thing. When I think ahead, I begin to wonder how we will afford the bills to come, or how we will buy the necessities for home, or if there will be jobs awaiting us next week, next month, next year.
I heard a saying once that read, "Do not fear the future, for God is already there". Knowing that God is waiting for me, to guide me and support me through whatever may lie ahead makes every 'what-if' a miniscule and insignificant lapse in time.
Despite the hard times, despite the struggles, there are moments when nothing can bring you down, when life seems to ebb and flow just as you imagined it, when you believe that if life was any better, your heart would truly burst.
On the Fourth of July, we set up a little pool and the little man enjoyed a dip in it. He is such a sweet boy, he makes this Mama proud.