Monday, September 24, 2012


I promise to hold you as long as you want me to. As long as those chubby, little fingers are wrapped around mine, I promise to fore go all other chores, dishes, phone calls, and unnecessary luxuries. If that means writing by candlelight with the moon illuminating overhead and sleeping a few hours to awaken with the sun, those few hours in the early dawn are worth seeing your sweet little face. I want to be present for all of it.

Each day, I try to figure a means to stretch the minutes, to freeze the daylight, to etch the memories in my mind forever. I relish the sweet baby smell and chuckle that this little babe smells like graham crackers.

Everything I do, every breath I take, is intentional and heartfelt. I live for God and family. I live for Him, my husband, and my son. In those twilight hours, when slumber beckons me, my husband reaches across and grasps my hand. I trace the outline of those hard-working hands, knowing he works without complaint and without reprieve. I only wish the bank thought that way.

Those older women in the market look on and say, "Enjoy it, it goes so fast."

They're right.

I'm not going to miss a second of it. At the end of my life, I'm not betting on riches. I'm betting on love, on family, on being there. This little family of mine is intertwined, interwoven without a beginning or an end. This legacy will reach beyond my lifetime, something that time cannot change.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

While He's Still Little

I must admit, while I don't want my son to grow up too fast and I am enjoying every moment of each stage, there are a few milestones that make my heart sing.

Recently, my son started to put his arms up whenever he wants me to hold him. It's so sweet to watch his face light up as I reach down to scoop him up, and he wraps his arms around my neck. The sweetest little hug from my sweet, sweet boy.

Every morning when I wake up, I make a cup of coffee and begin to warm his bottle. Once the bottle is warm, I go in to pick him up, and see these two precious blue eyes staring at me over the crib railing. No matter how much sleep I had (or didn't have), waking up and seeing that smile puts a smile on my heart.

As he grows from a baby into a toddler, a toddler into a boy, a boy into a man, my heart continues to pray a constant prayer of love and hope.

I pray that he always feels loved.

I pray that he has strong morals and convictions.

I pray that he is strong and hard-working like his father.

I pray he respects all people, despite differences.

I pray that he may know love, the kind of love that has written my own fairy-tale ending.

I pray that he loves God above all else, following His path and trusting in it.

A mother's heart always wants the best for her children. My prayer is the same for all the children of the world.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

A Lamp Unto My Feet

This past week, we celebrated my birthday at our house. It was a perfectly wonderful day, full of well wishes, laughter, and good food. While it was quiet to most, I enjoyed my quiet time with the baby while my husband was out, and then a few family members gathered for dinner later. I was completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of gifts, feel rather silly for my mentality earlier this week. You see, I had been looking around my home thinking I wish this or that was new. I wish that piece of furniture was a different color. I wish my home had hardwood floors, new appliances, pristine windows with delicate curtains, and a wraparound porch out front.

My heart was in the wrong place. That was until my husband reeled it back in for me.

It has been a few years since my husband and I exchanged gifts. For some reason, there is always something else that takes precedence over gifts, something like the water bill or the electricity or car get the point.

So this year, I was shocked to find that he had a gift ready. When I opened it up, I found two cherry red kerosene lamps! For most women, this gift seems like a buyout, but let me give you a little background info.

I have been talking about kerosene lamps for a year. There were ones in red that I adored, and I kept telling my husband how wonderful it would be to light lamps outside around a fire pit. (He just so happens to be building one in the coming weeks on our property!). I imagined the ambiance, the gentle glow of the lamps illuminating the night air, whilst the stars twinkled overhead. I could hear the fire crackling, with the smell of wood and coffee wafting through the breeze. We could have a camp cookout here at home, and enjoy the beauty of being together.

(And as a bonus, they work outside for when we have a power outage, which happens frequently in the sticks!)

It was then that I realized how selfish I had been. I was focusing solely on what I wanted and what I didn't have rather than seeing what I have already been given. Sure the stove acts up from time to time, and the carpet is a hodge-podge of colors. There are some pieces of furniture that I am looking forward to painting to give them a face lift. With a little organization and a little love, all will be new again!

Those lamps will provide hours and hours of light and enjoyment beneath the vast night sky for the whole family. To think that my husband saved a little whenever he could, sparing a lunch here or there, pocketing any spare change. Those lamps will allow for endless memories, and I will always remember the lesson they taught me and how my husband saved all he could to give me something worth every penny.

Since no post is complete without a picture, here is the latest one of the little guy. He can officially sit up all on his own.

And that is why life is in the details. Beauty is in the details.